Dear Reader,

Heller Raiders MC romance series. Bad boy bikers, dangerous drama, and lots of spice. These are gritty stories including violence, drug use and graphic language. Get ready for a wild ride. Some readers may find content disturbing.

Excerpt

Chapter One

McKelle

Voices sounded from the hallway. Blue’s easy laugh, and Cruz’s muffled words. I couldn’t help the skip of my heart. When I’d told Cruz there was something wrong with me, I wasn’t lying.

When we were good, it was so good. But god, he could be such a dick. After two years, you’d think I’d get tired of the ride. But three things gave me a rush. Racing down the straights, kissing the track on the corners, and Cruz.

I needed him the same way I needed the high of adrenaline. I was fire, and he was kerosene. Maybe we were a bit toxic together, but it burned so hot.

My nipples ached, and the crotch of my panties was soaked. I was such a slut for him.

The door creaked open. Knowing Cruz was about to come to bed caused a riot of flutters in my belly, not because I was in his bed, in a darkened room of the MC, with the scent of his cologne surrounding me. Okay, those weren’t the only reasons for the butterflies.

Earlier, when Blade hadn’t called for the vote, I could feel the hurt coming off him. He was good at pretending, but this was the stuff that messed with his head and made him stupid—when he didn’t feel good enough despite empirical evidence that he was an amazing human being, and these Harley riding assholes were lucky to know him.

Yet, somehow, he’d convinced himself he needed the patch to belong. He couldn’t see the Hellers had already accepted him. Not only did he ride with them, but I was in his bed, in a room he rented, in their clubhouse. Not just a room, but he was earning money at their bar, and he had a key to the main doors.

The mattress dipped as he sat at the bottom of the bed, bent over, and tugged off his boots. His shirt and cut stretched taut against a muscular back built from hard work.

“Hi,” I whispered, breaking the silence.

He glanced over his shoulder, and a shiver skated along my spine.

“You should be sleeping.” His voice did wicked things to my body. Just deep enough to sound dirty. Tunnels furrowed his shoulder-length brown hair. He raked his fingers through it again.

“I can’t sleep.” Because I was imagining him between my legs, those hazel eyes staring at me, with a devilish grin on his lips.

“Are you still pissed at me for yesterday?”

“No.” A slow smile found my lips. “But I don’t need to be pissed to want you to fuck me.”

A dark hunger flared in his eyes. He stood, shrugged out of his cut, the one with no patch on the back, and tossed it onto the dresser. Reaching behind his head, he gripped the collar of his shirt and stripped out of it.

Cruz was built for speed with sleek lines and hard angles. Shoulders honed from working construction curved into a sun-bronzed chest carved from lean muscle. A thin treasure trail bisected his laddered eight pack abs. Tagged with ink and attitude and fuckboy vibes because he was one.

But he was more than his dick. Like oxygen, he breathed life into me. More than racing, more than adrenaline, or the fiery sex between us, he made me feel things, things I couldn’t explain. I craved the intense highs I only felt with him.

“Show me how much you want my dick.” With a flick of his wrist, he unsnapped his jeans and lowered the zipper. His cock stretched the front of his boxer briefs. He shoved them down muscular thighs then banded his fingers around his shaft. A few strokes had him thick, long, and hard.

I sat up, grabbed the condom I’d tucked under my pillow, and crawled down the bed toward him. His gaze shifted from my breasts to the slope of my back. “Please.” I was desperate for his hands on me. “Fuck me.”

“Such a good girl, begging to be my whore.”

I touched my tongue to my upper lip, rose onto my knees, and braced my hands on his hips. “I want your dick,” I whispered as I kissed along his jaw and gently bit.

“Get on your knees.”

I was soaked, edginess vibrating through me as if I was on the back of his bike. I slid off the bed and sat on my heels, with my thighs spread.

Looking down at me, he cocked his head to the side. There was that sinister smile and the slight dimples in his cheeks. He gathered my hair in his hand. “Take it, baby.”

I tugged his jeans to the floor. Then he stepped out of them and widened his stance.

I curled my fingers around the base of his cock and touched my tongue to the tip, opened wider, and circled the head with my lips. His grasp on my hair tightened, and muscles in his thighs tensed.

“Suck it.”

I smiled as I spit on the head then opened my mouth for him. With gentle pressure, he pushed in, passed my teeth, slid along my tongue, grazing my piercing, and bumped against the back of my throat. I sealed my lips around the shaft and swirled my tongue along the hard, yet velvety soft skin, and teased him with my tongue piercing.

“Your mouth was made to suck my cock.”

I moaned and relaxed my throat. Lifting my gaze to his, I let him know I was ready. I released his cock, dropped my arm, slid my hand into my panties, and ran my fingers along my wet, slippery slit. With my other hand, I held onto his thigh.

With his first, long stroke into my mouth, I slid two fingers into my cunt.

“Your pussy is mine. Fuck my pussy, baby. Slide those fingers deep.”

I did, plunging in, and curling them inside to find the sweet spot to send electric tingles into my clit.

“You look so good on your knees with my dick in your mouth.” He thrust in and stilled. “Suck.”

I slurped on his cock, sucking the head, and bobbing on the shaft.

“You’re a good little whore. Now open up so I can fuck your mouth.” His voice strained, and he forced more of his cock into my mouth.

As his thrusts hit harder, I matched the intensity, ruthlessly strumming my clit then plunging into my soft, wet hole. My nostrils flared, spit trickled onto my chin, and my nails scored the back of his thigh as I fought to breathe.

“Take a deep breath because I’m about to fuck your throat. Give me your fingers. I want to taste how wet you are from sucking my dick.” Cruz jerked his cock from my mouth, and I gasped a breath, pulled my fingers from my panties, and lifted my arm.

Cruz clasped his hand around my wrist, shoved my fingers into his mouth, and sucked the juices soaking my hand. “So.” Suck. “Fucking.” He licked between them, cleaning me of my wetness. “Good.”

Three seconds later, my fingers were in my cunt again, and his cock was in my mouth. This time, he fucked my face with an unholy intensity.

“Fuck, Micki.”

I choked and gagged. Tears streamed down my cheeks. Every thrust stretched my throat. I couldn’t swallow, suffocating as he gripped my skull, held me immobile, and fucked my mouth.

“Choke on it. I love to see my cock in your mouth.”

Spit dripped from my chin. I swirled my tongue along his shaft, sucking him while he continued to thrust into my mouth.

“A beautiful messy whore. Are you my whore, Micki?”

I whimpered, aching, because I loved him like this, taking me, using me, only me.

“I’m going to come down your throat. Deep breath, baby.”

He eased out, allowing me just long enough to fill my lungs. Then I held my breath and wildly worked my clit. My mind numbed. Shadows and sparks danced in my eyes as darkness clouded into my peripheral vision. This was the high. The euphoric climax. My limbs grew heavy and, deep inside, I trembled and quivered as flares of light exploded behind my closed eyes.

“Fuck.” Cruz cursed, and the first burst of his bitter fluids splashed the back of my throat.

I lifted my gaze to his. Tears blurred my vision. I groaned, unable to move my head, as I tried to swallow. But his cock filled my mouth, blocking my airway, and bruising my throat.

With a final spurt, he ripped his cock from my mouth and painted my lips with the last of his release. I gasped, straining to fill my lungs. The rush of oxygen left me surging with adrenaline yet suspended in a mind-numbing high.

Cruz loosened his grasp on my hair, trailed his fingers along the side of my face, and grazed my cheek with his thumb. Sitting back on my heels, I swayed with his touch. Dropping down next to me, he braced one arm around my back and the other slid under my ass and to my knees. Then he scooped me into his arms.

“My turn.” He set me on the bed, butterflied my thighs, and closed his mouth over my pussy. “This is my pussy, Micki. Mine.”

A feral growl rolled out of me. I curled my fingers into his hair, anchored him to my pussy, and thrust my hips to grind against his mouth. Lips, teeth, and tongue devoured me. Sucking, licking, and oh my god, he grazed his teeth along my sensitive clit.

I cried out as he drove me hard and fast toward my impending climax, pushing me until I was freefalling over the edge into a mindless abyss of quivers and shudders. My back arched, and he continued his unrelenting assault on my pussy. I fisted the bedding as pleasure burned low in my belly.

He licked the length of my slit then pressed the flat of his tongue hard to my clit, and I shattered. One violent spasm rolled into the next.

“That’s my beautiful whore.” Cruz slammed two fingers inside me and finger fucked me through my orgasm. As the last flutter rippled through me, he pulled his fingers from my core and shoved them into my mouth. “Taste how sweet you are.”

I sucked him clean as that wicked grin that made me weak curled his lips. A low moan unfurled from my chest, climbing up my throat, and slipping past my lips. I sucked his fingers hard, hollowing my cheeks as he pulled his fingers from my mouth. My gaze lingered on his as my heart slowed, and I drifted back from the high of coming hard.

“Make room,” he whispered.

I scooted back on the bed and tucked my legs under the blanket.

Once he was next to me, I snuggled against him, draped my arm over his chest, and kissed the tatted skin of his shoulder. For several long moments we just breathed, simmering in the aftermath of coming down from orgasmic freaking bliss.

“Did you talk to Blue?” I finally asked.

A low growl rumbled from him and into me. He turned his head and slid his mouth across mine.

I laughed, breaking the kiss. “Is that your way of shutting me up?”

I wanted to ask him if he’d talked to Dozer. Cruz would pretend not getting the patch hadn’t gutted him, to know they still didn’t think he was ready to be a Heller.

I didn’t really get the whole prospecting thing. My dad was part of a motorcycle group. He paid dues, volunteered, and had track day events. It was all about riding bikes fast. But for these guys, it went beyond motorcycles as a hobby. The club was their identity.

I traced circles on Cruz’s chest with my fingers, and he tunneled his through my hair. “What more do you have to do to get the patch?” I asked.

He sighed. “Put in the work here at the clubhouse. Do whatever I’m told to do. Work the bar, clean up, help out. Basically, be their bitch.” His gaze lingered on mine. With a fingertip, he followed the arch of my brow. “It’s not supposed to be easy. It’s to prove they can trust I’ll have their back. And to show me that they’ll always have mine.”

“Dozer’s a good friend. He wouldn’t fuck you over.”

“I know. I need to talk to you. There’s a situation. I don’t want to fight about it. And believe me, I get that we’ve had problems in the past. But we’re good.”

Lying next to him, I angled my head back to look at his face. “I’m not mad anymore about yesterday. I know why you don’t want to go to the track. But my dad only sees the aftermath of us.” The fights, the tears, the breaking up, and getting back together. My dad wouldn’t understand the breaking up for us was like foreplay. A restart. We always got back together. “I want him to know you like I do.”

“I get that the track is important to you. I’ll go.” He kissed my forehead. “I’ll hate it.”

I cuddled up to him. “Thank you, and after, I’ll fuck you happy.”

For a few beats of my heart, our breaths filled the silence. This was his love language, being able to hold me, without words, without expectation. He’d never issued declarations of love, but this had to mean something. It meant everything to me.

“Bullet has a situation. I need you to hear me out. You get how important the club is to me.” His voice lowered, his hand stilled, and his heart pounded beneath my ear. “I need to do a favor for Bullet.”

I’d been around the MC long enough to know a favor for Bullet could be dangerous. “Is it illegal?”

Cruz wasn’t always on the right side of the law. He’d done a bit of dealing, and I was pretty sure he used to midnight shop for car parts with Dozer. Some of those bad decisions that made me hot because I was sick like that.

I suspected something happened a few weeks ago with Blue, Rogue, and Bullet. Kiss had been petrified. She’d needed a sobriety sponsor. I’d needed a joint.

“After the shit that went down with Hayley—”

“Don’t say her name.” Just hearing her name had fear coiling around my bones. Cruz had a fucked-up philosophy on relationships and sex. Oh god. He’d promised he wouldn’t see her again. Wouldn’t touch her again. But Cruz couldn’t keep his fucking promises. If he fucked her again—

“Just listen.”

“You want to talk about her when you’re in bed with me?” I pushed away from him, but his arm snaked around my waist and pulled me close.

“I’m sorry,” he said.

“Sorry for what? Did you fuck her again?” I couldn’t ebb the tide of tears in my eyes.

“Fuck. No. Baby, I haven’t cheated on you.”

But he’d fucked girls and guys while we’d been together, and that was the problem. We didn’t have the same views on sex. I fought his hold, panic snapping painfully in my gut.

“Micki, fuck. Would you listen to me?”

I spun out of his arms and scooted away from him. “Not if you’re going to talk about that bitch.”

He sat up and raked his fingers along his scalp. “Bullet doesn’t even know Hayley. Would you calm down and listen? After what happened with Hayley, I promised I’d never fuck around behind your back, and I haven’t.”

“Then why bring her up?”

“Because I’m making my promises count.”

I furrowed my brows, and my heart slammed against my ribs, breaking before the words were out of his mouth. “What does that mean?”

“Bullet has a job for me. Big payout.”

“Bullet’s a pimp.” I chewed my thumbnail, trying not to interrupt when I really wanted to rip the words from his mouth before he’d spoken them.

“Not anymore. He’s a producer—”

“—of porn,” I interrupted. “With whores.”

“Former whores. Cam girls, online only, and they’re making serious bank.” He tugged on my hand, pulling my thumb from my mouth.

“Does he want you to be their accountant?” Because Cruz was good with numbers. He had computer skills, but he had too much energy surging through him to sit in an office all day.

Lately, he’d worked with Steele at some job sites, and he had his nights behind the bar. But he didn’t have steady income from a career. Rather he was always looking for the next easy paycheck.

And he was also good with his big dick.

Cruz toppled me to the bed, holding down my arms, and sliding his lips along the tendon of my neck. “It’s a job, baby, so I’m going to need a pass.”

“What kind of pass?” I could get him a pass to the track, a bus pass, but I wasn’t sure why he’d need one when he had his bike. Oh god, his tongue teased the spot under my ear. A low moan rolled from my chest. Who was the whore now?

“Snow white is going to get railed by seven bikers. Ten minutes, and I’ll make a couple grand.”

Instantly, the haze of lust burned off. I shoved him off me. “He asked you to fuck his kitten?”

He leaned up. “Technically, I volunteered.”

I scrambled away from him. “Are you serious? You want to get your dick wet in some whore?”

“It’s just sex.”

“You promised, Cruz.” My voice rose with every word. “You promised you wouldn’t fuck around on me, and now, you’re making it a career move?”

He bolted off the bed, stalking closer to me. “I promised I wouldn’t fuck around behind your back. That’s why I’m talking to you about it. I don’t even know the girl. Bullet needs help with his business. I fuck her once, get paid, and get some club credit with Bullet. What’s the issue?”

My arms dropped to my side and my throat tightened. I suffocated in the dark cavern where my heart was supposed to beat. Tendrils of fear clawed at my thoughts.

We’d talked.

We’d fought.

We’d promised.

But Cruz’s promises were only skin deep. And I felt the betrayal to my core.

“No issue.” My hands trembled as I grabbed my T-shirt off the dresser and tugged it over my head. I had to get out of here. Where were my panties?

“What are you doing?” He closed the space between us and wrapped his arms around me. His chest was warm, his arms were strong and roped with veins, and his cock hardened against my ass.

Tears burned in my eyes. I couldn’t do this. He didn’t get it. He’d throw us away for a stupid patch. “I’m going home.”

“Micki—”

I tried to slip free, but he held me tight. The sweet way he called me Micki wasn’t going to work on me, not this time. “You want permission to cheat on me?”

“It wouldn’t be cheating,” he said.

“What do you call sticking your dick into another girl?”

“Fucking.”

I rolled my eyes to keep tears from filling them. “We agreed. When you fuck someone who isn’t me, you’re cheating.”

“Okay.” He held me even tighter, bent his neck, and breathed me in. “I wasn’t thinking. This, you and me, isn’t the same.” His fingers trailed along my arm sending a shiver over my flesh and making my tummy quiver.

“If it isn’t the same when you’re with me, then what are we?”

“Why does it have to be complicated? We’re together.”

“That’s not enough.” Tears slipped onto my cheeks. “Not if it wouldn’t bother you to fuck someone else.” I stepped away, and he let me go. “You could sleep with someone and not have it mean anything?”

He sat on the edge of the bed. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

“Just tell me the truth.”

“Then yeah. It wouldn’t mean anything.”

“Oh my god. You really don’t get it. Sex means nothing to you.”

He growled and rolled his shoulders. “I didn’t say that. Sex with you means everything because it’s you. You know my body count, and I didn’t have feelings for any of them.”

I wiped tears from my cheek and shook my head. “This is partly my fault.”

“There’s no fight here, McKelle.”

“You’re right. I’m not fighting for a relationship just for you to fuck around on me.” I’d agreed not to use labels, and he’d agreed not to cheat on me. “To be clear. Telling me before you fuck a whore that you’re going to fuck her is still cheating.”

I grabbed my jeans and stepped into them without panties. Skin was the only thing holding me together as a rush of panic surged through my veins. This was going to hurt. The cracks were already forming. He didn’t feel the same about me. Sex didn’t mean anything to him, but he knew what his being with Hayley had done to me. We’d never fought uglier or made up harder.

“You’re pissed over a conversation.”

“There’s nothing left to say. You’re off the hook because I’m not your girlfriend. Go fuck her. Do your favor, get your patch, and make some money.” I zipped up, snapped the waistband, and flipped my hair from my face. “Just so you know, it goes both ways.”

Since I’d come to the MC on the back of his bike, I wasn’t sure how I was going to get home, but I wasn’t going to stay and bawl in front of him. When it came to Cruz, I never learned. This was us. I should know better. Nothing ever changed.

“Since it isn’t cheating if you know about it, I’m going to fuck Vega.” I headed toward the door. “He stared at my ass every time I leaned over the table for my shot at pool tonight.” As soon as my fingers touched the doorknob, I glared at Cruz over my shoulder. “Don’t worry. It won’t mean anything.”

I had the door open an inch when Cruz slammed it closed. His body imprisoned me, forcing me against the door. “Not fucking happening.”

“Are you being serious right now?” My words were muffled, and his hot breath was a brand against my neck. With his chest to my back, he kept me pinned to the door.

“You think I’m joking?”

“I think you’re psycho.”

“If I am it’s because you drive me fucking crazy.” His fingers dug into me as he unsnapped my jeans. “No one gets inside this pussy but me.”

One threat, and he’d become unhinged.

“It’s easy to make a promise when you don’t plan to keep it. Here’s mine. I won’t fuck anyone else, either,” I said. The growl of my zipper lowering and a cocktail of lust and anger stripped away my good sense. Stupid girl. “I promise.” There was no hiding the condescending tone in my voice.

“You want to fuck with me?”

“No. I don’t want to fuck with you.” Liar. I buzzed with adrenaline, my nipples ached because they were so tight and pressed against the door. “I want you to know how I feel.”

“I’ve been inside you. I know exactly how you feel.” He shoved my jeans down my hips. I wiggled, helping to lower them to my knees as he kicked my legs apart. With a hard jerk of my hips, he pulled me away from the door. I had to brace outstretched arms on the door to keep from falling forward.

He crammed two fingers inside my soaked pussy. I moaned, arched my back, and my inner walls quivered around his fingers. I couldn’t stop the way he made me feel, the dark pull of his deranged side. I knew my threats would push him, known that he’d want to fight.

“I’m the only one who’s going to know how you feel.” He ripped his fingers from my cunt and shoved his cock deep inside me.

“Cruz,” I spat as he knocked the breath from me with every hard, punishing thrust of his cock. “Condom.”

He braced one arm on the door next to mine and whispered in my ear. “Don’t need one. You’re going to feel me.”

I did. I felt every glorious inch of his cock stretching me. He was so hard and thick, mercilessly driving into me. I rose onto my tiptoes as he speared into me again and again. I clawed at the door, snapping and buzzing with uncontrolled chaotic emotions building inside me.

How could he do this with anyone else? Tears filled my eyes and slipped onto my cheeks as my core contracted against his dick. I turned my head and sank my teeth into his arm to keep from screaming as my body detonated, coming undone in a turbulent rain of tremors and flutters.

He fisted my hair, angled my head back, and licked the wetness from my face. “I’m the only one who gets to make you cry.” His gritty tone rasped over my flesh with a promise of depravity. “I’m the only one fucking you, only me.”

I nodded. He slammed his lips to mine, slid his tongue into my mouth, and kissed me filthy as he thrust his cock hard and deep. My orgasm blended with his. I could feel every hot spurt slicking my channel as he fucked me through his orgasm.

For a moment, he was motionless, still buried inside me. Then he shifted his hips and slipped his cock out of me, leaving a strange hollowness in the carnage of our war. Cum trickled down my thighs. He banded an arm around my shoulders and across my collarbone, and his lips lingered on my temple.

“Why?” I whispered. “Why make me love you when we don’t want the same things?”

“I disagree. If you don’t know, let me make it clear. It’s always you. Every. Fucking. Time.” He turned me in his arms. “You’re mine, and no one else is ever going to touch you.”

“Let me make it clear. If you fuck someone else, you’re never fucking me again. No condom means no one else.”

He nuzzled my neck. “Not a problem. My dick only wants your pussy.”

“If that were true, we wouldn’t be fighting. How can you be possessive over me, not want anyone to touch me, and then stick your dick in someone else?”

“Because when you let someone touch you, it’s because you have feelings for them.” His mouth wreaked havoc on my neck, sending tiny explosions of heat over my skin. “Sex is only sacred when it’s with you.”

I lifted my gaze to his. “Is it always going to be like this?”

“Fuck, I hope so.” He held me close. “Are we good?”

I smiled against his skin, sweetly scented of sex and sweat. I wanted to trust him. I was going to trust him, but I wasn’t just letting it go. “No.”

“I get it, Micki. It was stupid to even consider it.”

“I know you want the patch, but I have to fit into your life, too. Don’t fuck us up.”

“I won’t. I promise.”