Dear Reader,

Heller Raiders MC romance series. Bad boy bikers, dangerous drama, and lots of spice. These are gritty stories including violence, drug use and graphic language. Get ready for a wild ride. Some readers may find content disturbing.

Excerpt

Chapter One

Steele

Bikes, booze, and brotherhood. I used to dream about nights like this. Maybe not exactly like this, but I’d fucked up enough of my life to know that being patched into the Heller Raiders MC was pretty fucking good, especially considering where I’d been. I’d had too many close calls. Too many run-ins with the cops, too many enemies who’d rather see me dead, and I was still here. There had been times I wasn’t sure if karma was my friend or trying to fuck me over.

All I knew was that my little girl was the best thing to happen to me, even if her mother was part of my karma coming back around. I’d obviously liked Natalie enough to make her my old lady. I thought I loved her enough to marry her. And now, I hated her… Nah, I strongly disliked her enough to want a divorce. I couldn’t hate her. She gave me Lili. Although I did hate our current relationship. For most of our marriage, I’d been the problem.

Which was why she was divorcing me. This time our dysfunction was on her. I wasn’t putting up a fight. I wanted out as much as she wanted me gone. Life was a bitch, and it turned out I married one, too. Pretty sure I’d made her that way.

Water under the bridge and all that. She’d moved on, and I’d found my place with the Hellers.

Friday nights at the MC had the chapel of the old church filled with music and laughter. Meats grilled on the smokers out front of our clubhouse, and inside, old ladies of the patches filled tables with a potluck-style buffet.

The new prospect, Seven had a couple of his kids here tonight. The guy had a harem of ex-wives, seven to be exact, which was how he got his road name, but he was still always smiling. Maybe once the divorce was final I’d find a reason to smile again. For now, I’d had enough trouble with Natalie. I couldn’t say she didn’t have reason to want out. During our marriage, I’d run with the Night Crawlers MC, and I’d found more than my share of trouble.

Those days were behind me. Nothing I did now would change my situation. Natalie had moved on. I wasn’t bitter about the divorce, but I was getting tired of the games. Considering we both wanted out, one would think she’d be more committed to seeing it finalized. Six months of delays because we couldn’t agree on visitation and custody.

I walked away from everything but my kid. Nat wanted the house. I had no problem with that. She wasn’t getting an argument from me. We’d purchased the three-bedroom, two-bath house together with the help of her parents. Lenders wanted to know where you scored ten grand a month in extra income. Working as a plug on the corner of Washington and Sixteenth Street parting out eighths wasn’t going to satisfy underwriting. Her parents never asked.

I’d done a lot of shit for money, and not much of it had been legal. Crawlers had gotten too deep in the illegal pharmaceutical business. Not that I hadn’t been living a life that was going to get me dead or detained. It might not have cost me my life or my freedom, but I’d lost too much.

It was hard to think about the dark days, the things I’d done for the Crawlers MC, and the friends I’d lost. Those losses were the reason I’d betrayed one club and patched into another. I miss you, Tommy. I tapped my water glass on the table then drank. Normally, I’d have a whiskey neat for my fallen brother, but I had to take Lili back to her mom’s tonight.

Tommy had been my prospect. The kid was too young to go down so hard and so fast. When he died, I’d had enough. Too late to save Tommy, too late for my marriage, but not too late to be a good dad to my kid. Not too late to remember that being a part of an MC was supposed to be about family, friends, a brotherhood.

Clover crossed the room. Her long auburn hair hung in a straight shimmering curtain to her ass. “I didn’t think you were here when I didn’t see your bike.”

My Harley was at Natalie’s. Lili was too young for more than rides around the neighborhood. When she was with me, I usually had Nat’s car, technically my car, but another concession in the divorce.

That Clover would look for me felt good, but before she could slide onto my lap, I put a hand on her hip. “Lili is here tonight.”

She ran her fingers through my hair. “Oh. Lucky you.” Her smile was wide and genuine as she whipped her head around and glanced at the girls dancing. Normally, my tutu-wearing menace would be hanging with the old ladies, but tonight, she was running around with Seven’s twins.

It wasn’t my scheduled weekend with Lili, but when her mom had asked me to take her for the evening, I jumped at the chance for extra time with my kid. Until the courts decided how we’d split custody, Natalie wasn’t generous with visitation. I tried not to give her any reasons to make shit difficult with Lili.

Still, no doubt tomorrow I’d pay the price when Lili retold her mother about her night in the MC. Natalie had hated the Crawlers, and she painted every MC with the same tainted brush. Whatever she had going tonight was important enough to overlook Friday night and Church at the MC.

Lili was at an age where she parroted everything her mother said. And she loved to dance. She lived in ballet slippers, tights, and tutus, even when she was pirouetting down the pitch while playing recreational community soccer.

I kept my hand on Clover’s hip and tugged her closer but kept my eyes on the main door to the chapel to watch for Lili. “I’ll be taking her back to her mom soon. Maybe later?”

“You can sit on my lap,” Kodiak said to Clover.

“Pass.” She smirked.

Clover and I had a casual thing going. Neither one of us felt territorial. Good thing, since she was one of Bullet’s kittens, and she had a casual thing with a lot of dudes, sucking Heller cock and fucking online for Good Girl Studios.

While she’d been hanging around the Crawlers MC, she’d been a go between Bullet and the Hellers when he’d patched into the rival MC to take it down from the inside.

Clover and I were friends, neither of us expected anything but an occasional night between the sheets. When she wasn’t fucking guys on camera, she was fucking Hellers in the MC. I could be a good time, but neither she nor I were looking for more. Strictly friends who fucked, which was great for me. I had enough complications in my life. The last thing I needed was another emotional entanglement.

Bristol and Stormy came into the chapel with Bullet. My club princess trailed in behind them. Twigs were scattered through her braids, and she had dirt on her hands and knees. She laughed as she headed to the cookies on the buffet table.

“There she is.” Clover slipped out of my arms to join them.

“Are you playing or not?” Sully asked, ready to deal cards.

I tossed a nickel into the center of the table. Kodiak and Murph tossed in their antis with mine.

Sully dealt us each five cards. I leaned back in my chair. I had a shit hand, but I didn’t mind losing loose change because I enjoyed watching Sully’s tells. His lips twitched, and he combed his fingers through his beard as he considered his hand.

Sully was the king of penny bets. Starting off with a quarter would have him choking on air. Kodiak tossed a quarter into the pot and took three cards. Murph met the bet and took four cards. Like me, he was prepared to lose to watch Sully play his hand.

“Rich fucks,” Sully grumbled and slapped a coin into the center. Then he dealt himself three cards. A good guess would be that both he and Kodiak held a pair. Pretty sure Murph and I were fucked, but I had a poker face.

“I’ll stand.” And then I tossed in another quarter.

Kodiak smiled. We’d been friends for all of my adult life. We met when we were seventeen. We patched into the Crawlers together. He was the best man at my wedding, and he was the first person I turned to when Natalie asked for the divorce.

And he was the first person I’d asked to give me cover when I’d plotted with Bullet to betray my club. I’d turned against the Crawlers, and he’d had my back. And we both protected Vega.

Wrench, the former prez of the Crawlers had a target on Vega’s back. Vega wouldn’t have a problem putting down an enemy, but he wasn’t one to pick a fight. Wrench had ordered him to take out a Heller. There had been a battle at the container yard, a Heller had been killed, and a war had escalated. I’d taken a stand. I’d chosen a side along with Kodiak and Vega. We turned on our club.

Now, here we were in the Heller’s clubhouse. Vega played a game of pool with McKelle. Cruz and Ryatt’s old lady—she belonged to both of them—was good enough to go pro, but she preferred to hustle Vega and anyone else who wanted to watch her bend over the pool table for twenty bucks a game. Her ass was the only reason to take the bet because she didn’t lose.

“We’re waiting on you, old man,” Murph said after he folded.

Sully grumbled, fingered his stack of coins, and then tossed his cards into the center of the table. “I’m out.”

Kodiak laughed as he turned over a pair of threes, beating Sully’s eights because he’d folded. I turned over my hand of complete garbage cards. Kodiak grabbed his coins, and I grabbed the deck. Next deal was to me.

“Lilibug,” I called over my shoulder.

Lili rushed over with Seven’s twin boys at her heels. All three were double-fisting chocolate chip cookies. Her upper lip was stained red from the punch she’d been guzzling.

“Time to go.”

“But I brought you a cookie.” She handed me one of her cookies and batted her lashes at me.

“Bribery isn’t going to work. It’s still time to go.”

She furrowed her brows and snatched her cookie back. “How many minutes?”

“Five.” Not that she knew how to tell time. She understood hours. When I told her I’d pick her up at a certain time, she could recognize the numbers. But perception of time was still a mystery to her. Five minutes would easily be fifteen as she worked her way around the MC saying her goodbyes.

“Hold my cookies.” She set them on the table. “Romeoooo,” she sang as she headed toward the president’s table. I smiled as the club’s treasurer scooped her up and twirled her around.

“I’ve got time for one more hand.” I shuffled the cards.

As we played our hand, I could hear Lili’s squeals. I loved my kid. I might have been a shit husband because of the demands of the Crawlers, but fuck if I’d let my daughter suffer for my past mistakes.

Twenty minutes later, I’d won enough money to buy a bag of chips out of the vending machine at work. Lili sat in her booster seat in the back of the Subaru.

“How was school today?” I asked, casting a quick glance at her in the rearview mirror.

“Miss Jaymi said we have two ears and only one mouth because we’re supposed to listen more than talk, but Liam doesn’t use either ear because he talks all the time.” She strung out all to at least five syllables. “He’s going to get in trouble.” She vigorously nodded her head. “But I won’t. Miss Jaymi told my mom that I read like a third grader. Ornery got me gummy worms for being smart.”

I smiled. Lili had trouble pronouncing Henri. He was French, loved soccer, and was currently fucking my soon-to-be ex-wife in my former bed in my former house. Not that I cared who Nat was fucking as long as the guy was good to Lili, and he didn’t ask her to call him dad.

“Dad?”

I glanced into the rearview mirror again and met her stare. “Whatcha need?”

“Can I…can I…”

“What is it, Lilibug?”

She inhaled deeply. “Can you please come to Donuts with Dad? Please. We’re a pair, like socks. I don’t want to go with Ornery.”

My gaze narrowed. “Of course, I’ll go. What’s Donuts with Dad?”

She smiled wide, showing her front gap from her missing tooth. “You know, Donuts with Dad at my school. First, we go to the lunchroom, and we have donuts and milk. Then you get to come to my classroom and see the butterfly I made.” She leaned forward in her seat. “And you can talk to Miss Jaymi. She’s nice. And she likes bugs, too. At parent night she saved a spider from getting squished. She put him out the window.”

“A kindred spirit.”

Her head tilted. “What’s a kindred spirit?”

“Someone who loves the same things you love, like bugs. When was parent night?”

“Do you want to meet Taco?” She breezed right past my question. “We named him in class.” Her eyes were wide. “He’s a Mexican Red Knee tarantula. Remember when I went to Mexico with Mom, Mimi, and Papi. I didn’t see a tarantula, but I saw a bird with blue feathers. Taco eats crickets. I ate a cricket, too. But mine was covered in chocolate. Mom had to sign a note that said I could have one.” She flopped back in her chair. “It was gross. Caydee threw up.” She trailed her finger through the fog on her window.

“When is Donuts with Dad?”

She shrugged. “I don’t remember. Mom said you have to work so I wasn’t supposed to bug you because I’d make you feel bad. That’s why Ornery has to come.”

Feel bad? If she was keeping me from my kid, I was going to be fucking pissed. Nah, I’d already passed pissed. Pressure built in my gut and climbed into my chest. That Natalie would conspire to give an experience that should be mine to her fucking boyfriend had my blood simmering into a boil.

Parents night? Donuts with Dad? What else had she kept from me?

“Lili, I want you to always bug me.” Because apparently, I couldn’t trust Natalie to play fair. I understood she was bitter. I earned her loathing. But no fucking way was I letting her replace me when it came to Lili. Henri wasn’t her dad. I was.

The car came to a lurching stop in the driveway. Lili unlatched her seatbelt, jumped from the car, and ran up the path to the lighted porch. I reached her just as she twisted the handle and flung the door wide.

I followed her inside and closed the door. The familiar scents of what used to be my home hit hard. Natalie had a thing for scented candles, and she had a jungle of house plants in front of the living room windows.

“Hi, Lili. Did you have fun with your dad?”

The television was on in the kitchen, and Natalie stood at the sink. The front room, dining room, and kitchen were all part of the main area of the house. Pillar, short for caterpillar, because it was both a bug and had cat in the name, pounced down the six stairs to the left that led to the three upstairs bedrooms. Lili scooped her up and nuzzled her face into the cat’s soft fur.

Natalie dried her hands on a towel. “Thanks for taking her tonight.”

I ruffled Lili’s hair. “I need to talk with your mom. Take Pillar with you and go get ready for bed.”

“Don’t leave until you tell mom about Donuts with Dad.” She thundered up the stairs with the cat draped over her arms. “I didn’t bug him, Mom. Dad says he can go.” Her voice trailed off as she went to her room.

Once I was sure we were alone, I crossed the room and braced my arms against the edge of the kitchen island. “Explain to me why your lay is taking my little girl to a daddy daughter breakfast.”

Natalie dropped the dishtowel on the counter. “Because Henri wants to take her.”

“I don’t give a fuck what he wants.”

“Don’t start with me, Steele.”

“I’m trying really hard not to lose my shit, Nat. I’m her dad. You’re not pushing me out. Your boyfriend needs to stay in his lane.”

“You don’t get to decide. He’s here. He helps with her homework, he reads to her, and he coaches her soccer team. He’s putting in the work. He’s earned it.”

“Earned what? He fucks you for a couple months, moves into my house, and he gets my kid? Fuck that.” I slapped my chest. “She’s my kid. You don’t get to decide who her dad is going to be. You’re hurting her when you fuck with my relationship with her.”

She exhaled an exasperated sigh. “It’s not a big deal. It’s donuts.”

“Fuck you, Nat. You don’t get to dictate my place in her life. I don’t want a war with you, but you seem determined to fuck me over. That’s not happening. We both know this isn’t just donuts. What about parent night?”

“I couldn’t get a hold of you.” The flippant tone of her voice was throwing fuel on the fire. “It was a parent/teacher conference. She’s in first grade. It wasn’t a big deal.”

“You didn’t try.”

“Why would I? I tried for five years.”

“This is the last time you try to cut me out. You don’t want to push me.”

Her gaze narrowed. “Don’t threaten me.”

“These aren’t threats. I’m done, Natalie. I want fifty-fifty custody. Equal time. Sign the papers so we can be done with this shit.” Because I couldn’t get my own place as long as I was covering the mortgage on the house and my room at the MC. Once the divorce was final, the house would be Natalie’s.

“I’ll sign the papers when you agree to standard visitation and child support.”

“I am supporting her. This isn’t about money,” I spat. “I’m paying the mortgage. I bought the damn car in the driveway.”

She raised her voice. “I’m sure the courts would love to know how you earn your income.”

“Sweat and blood. Working construction for your brother.”

“Only because Cory is willing to overlook your past—at least the things he knows about. Because you work together doesn’t mean his loyalties are divided. Maybe you should stop using my family to solve your problems. I’d hate for him to find out about your work with the Crawlers.”

There was a time her threats would’ve effectively had me backing off, but I had a documented work history, one she couldn’t contest in court. And she couldn’t implicate me in my past without jeopardizing herself. “We both reaped the benefits, babe.”

“I’m not your babe.”

“No shit.” The term hadn’t come off as an endearment but dripped with irritation.

Our raised voices called Henri like a guard dog if the dog was a French poodle. He stormed down the stairs, nostrils flared and angry, with a pinched face. For the most part, Henri was a good guy. He’d always been a bit hesitant to approach me. I stood six inches taller and outweighed him by fifty pounds. I didn’t know much about him except that his mother was from France and his dad was Air Force.

And that he was fucking my future ex-wife and trying to play house with my kid.

I’m sure Natalie had given him my laundry list of faults, embellishing the shit I’d done in my past.

“Lower your voices,” Henri said. “Lili was listening.”

“Fucking hell,” I said.

“Steele.” He positioned himself between me and Natalie. “What is this about?”

“He’s upset because Lili is going to Donuts with Dad with you.”

“Nah, he’s not taking her.”

She ignored me and kept on talking. “And he’s pissed about parent/teacher conferences at the school. And he’s pissed about the divorce. Basically, he’s an asshole when he doesn’t get his way.”

I cocked my head, rolled my shoulders to calm the flare of rage ripping through me, and lowered my voice. “I’m not pissed about the divorce. But I’m not negotiating on Lili. When it comes to her school, her teachers, her dance classes, and even her soccer games and practices, I need to know what’s going on with her. And I want her with me fifty percent of the time.”

“That’s not going to happen,” Henri said.

“I need you to stay out of this,” I said to him. “You’re part of the fucking problem. Want a kid? Make one. You can’t have mine.”

He crossed his arms over his chest. “I think it’s time for you to go home.”

“This is my house, asshole.”

“No,” Natalie snapped. “This is my house, and you need to leave.”

I glared at Natalie. “This isn’t done. Stop using Lili to get back at me. All I want is my kid.” I pointed at Henri. “Don’t show up to Donuts with Dad. Don’t interfere, or we’re going to have a problem.” I turned and headed for the stairs to the upper bedrooms.

Natalie followed. “What do you think you can do?”

I took the steps two at a time. “Fuck around and find out.”

Lili’s bedroom door was open. She burrowed under her ladybug comforter. I sat on the edge of her bed. “Hey, Lilibug. I’m heading out.” I leaned over and kissed her cheek.

She wrapped her arms around me and hugged me tight. “I heard you fightin’ with Mom. I didn’t mean to get you in trouble.”

“You didn’t.”

She traced the tattoos on my neck with her little hand. “But you were fightin’ about me.”

“Nah. We were fighting with each other. But we shouldn’t argue.”

“Mom sounds mad.”

“She’s not mad at you. She’s mad at me. I’m sorry I got angry with your mom. I’ll be better. All you have to know is that we both love you.”

“I love you, too.”

I kissed her cheek before heading toward the door. I paused at the threshold. “I’ll see you at Donuts with Dad.”

She smiled and snuggled into her pillow.

For Lili, I’d make this right with Natalie. I found her in the kitchen. “I don’t want to fight with you.”

“Then stop fighting me on Lili.” She sagged with an exhale. “I don’t want to fight with you, either. I don’t want to keep you from Lili, but Henri and I are making a home for her and for us. Lili needs stability, and you’ve never been very good at making us your priority.”

I wanted to argue with her, but she was right, at least, partially. While we were married—Jesus Christ, we were still married, but the final divorce was just a technicality. In all the years we were married, I’d never had a side piece. But by the time I’d realized my priorities were fucked up, we’d drifted too far apart. Those days were in my rearview.

My responsibilities to the Crawlers hadn’t left much time for her, but I’d never fuck off on my financial responsibilities to Lili, even when I hadn’t been here physically. “I’m here now, and I’m trying to do the right thing.”

“I hope so. If you really want to make this easy, then compromise with me. Agree to standard visitation.”

“Nat, that isn’t compromise. I’ll compromise. We can stay married. I don’t give a fuck. Drag out the divorce until Lili is eighteen.” I shrugged. “Looks like you’ll be fucking my wife indefinitely,” I said to Henri.

I crossed the kitchen to the refrigerator and snatched the month’s school calendar from beneath the alphabet letter magnets. Donuts with Dad was Tuesday morning at the elementary school.

Henri shifted closer to Natalie. “We’ll take our chances with the courts. Let the judge decide whether you’ve been a good father. You might want to reconsider this battle. You might end up with limited supervised visitation.”

“Fuck off, Henri.”